Their Window
by Tasie
Summary: You can spend lots of time with someone and still not know them. Sometimes the only way to know them is see through their window. Dare to look into the mind of one Tsukino Usagi.


AN : I have no idea where this will lead and quite frankly does it matter? If you like it review please. If you don't it, I'll take the hint. It's about Usagi and if you don't like her than :P  
  
Their Window  
  
Journal Entry  
  
I am different. I know it. I have always been different no matter how hard I tried not to be. Even when I was a little girl. No one else acted the way I did. I would wander a lot when I was younger. I guess that was my way of meeting people, and it worked for the most part. I met a lot of people that I still love and cherish to this day. Like old lady Hiraomi who lived near the park . She found me when I wandered away from the jungle gym. She took me by the hand and searched all over the park until we found my mom. Wandering is even how I met my best friend. I was playing on the swings and I got bored. I've got a short attention span, so sue me. I heard someone crying. Me being me, I head towards it. I wanted to know who that was, why they were crying and if I could possibly help in some way. I had happened upon a group of 8 year olds picking on a girl who looked like she was my age with cropped red hair and the prettiest blue green eyes, I still envy her eyes, around 6 or 7. So I walked up to them with my 3 foot nothing self, as you can see I've always been vertically challenged, and demanded they leave her alone. Five minutes later after they finally stopped laughing at me, they looked like they were about start in on me but I guess I said it really loud because my Daddy showed up. Now if you know my dad, anything male within a mile radius of me is either instantly removed or eliminated. So needless to say they scattered pretty quickly when they saw his face.  
  
I think he almost burst a vein that day. After a minute of watching my father perform his dance of victory at driving the mini evil males away from his precious girl, I walked up to her and held out my hand. She looked at it then my face and slowly took it. I held her hand and helped her up then wiped the tears off her face with my sleeve, that's how I met Naru. Ever since that day me and Naru have been inseparable. As inconceivable as it may be I think I thought of myself as her protector. Never mind the fact that I'm smaller than her but I always made sure that if anyone made fun of her they took it up with me. I'll admit that I am not the most brawny or bravest of people but if you mess with my friends than your messing with me. I guess an example would be when Naru and I were 12. We were a bit more um.developed than our peers and some upper classmen noticed.  
  
Now this here is an example of how I've always been a little different. While everyone else was just starting to notice guys, I still thought of them as friends or enemies in some cases. I went through so much because of that. It's interesting that so many people have called me immature or naïve because of the way I act or my beliefs. This was one of those times. Now there was this 9th grader that was getting a little too friendly with Naru. You are probably thinking I was jealous but I wasn't. I was just watching out for my friend and when she didn't return his affections he started spreading rumors about her in school. One day I found her crying in one of the bathroom stalls and I was pissed! I won't say exactly what happened but it involved a broken nose and a month of detention but I can proudly say that when need be I have an excellent right hook. Of course under normal circumstances I don't condone violence. As a matter of fact I'm a pacifist but don't mess with my friends. Now your probably wondering about my parents, they were mad! But when my dad heard it was a guy I punched out I swear I saw a little grin hiding behind that coffee mug. My mom however was not amused. She thought I was doing this deliberately to spite her or something. I swear mothers can be so dramatic. I was grounded for two weeks. But I had to work extra hard after that to try and be 'normal'. Do you have any idea how much damage control you have to do socially after you punch someone older than you out? I wasn't exactly concerned with my grades, but my mother was. I think that was the start of my academic downfall. It wasn't that I didn't understand the work; it was just that I've never been a numbers type of person. Too impersonal for me. If you want me to explain something no problem, but writing it on paper is completely different. The only way I passed my classes is because when I do get off my ass and actually try I can do killer work. And I have to admit that sometimes I really enjoyed the annoyed faces my teachers got. It's not that I am endorsing teacher torture but that is a course I passed with flying colors. My parents were baffled at how I could continuously pass into the next grade when I failed every test I brought them but they weren't complaining. Speaking of my parents I notice a lot of the time that I don't look a thing or think at all like them. My mom is a beautiful woman, I used to watch her brush her blue hair when I was young and my dad with his brown hair and glasses is like an attractive geek. Shingo really takes after both of them. He's got dad's hair and mom's eyes. I don't have either. Sometimes I look in the mirror and wonder where I come from. In the sun my hair is a golden blonde but at night my hair is turned silvery white, it's like I'm a completely different person sometimes. My eyes can't decide what color they want to be so when I was old enough I got blue contacts to hide them. Naru was kind of angry; she said my eyes were my best feature. She said they made me look exotic and different. I didn't want to be different. I have worked so hard to not be different. My own senshi don't know these things about me. These are all my precious pre-Sailor Moon memories. When everything in my life was undoubtedly more simple. Sometimes I wish that I wasn't given this power or destiny, it's not that I don't love minna-chan or Mamo-chan, but it's just that I never wanted to fight. I still don't want to fight but I fight because if I don't than someone else would and I wouldn't want someone else to ever feel the things that I feel. To have felt the agony and pain that I've felt and never told anyone about.  
  
My entire life I have been completely different from everyone else. In my family, at school, every where I go. The girls can understand that to a point but beyond that.  
  
They all have something that they excel at or that makes them special. I'm not special. I'm just different.  
  
Ami is intelligent and focused. Rei is mysterious and a great singer. Makoto is strong and determined. Minako is beautiful and so much better of a leader than I will ever be.  
  
Haruka is independent and so bold while Michiru is grace and elegance personified. Hotaru is so sweet; her healing powers only reflect her beautiful and caring soul. And Setsuna, she is so calming, and encouraging. All of my friends are beautiful inside and out.  
  
And my sweet Mamo-chan. .he can be so stupid!  
  
But I love him so much, I swear though if he ever puts me through that crap with the dreams again, I will kill him! I've really had with all of his issues. I love the man and I have and will do anything for him but he needs to realize that a relationship can't be one-sided. I can't keep waiting for him to get it together. I would walk through fire for the man, but I can only take so much!  
  
You know I've kept so much from everyone. And some days I just wake up, look in the mirror and wander. who am I? And when will I ever met her?  
  
____________________________________________________________________________ __________________ Quietly Usagi closed her journal and got up from her desk. She gingerly placed the journal in her knapsack before climbing into bed. That was all she would write for the night. It was late and her mom would have a hard enough time waking her in the morning. Usagi lifted the bed cover, taking great care to not disturb the sleeping cat at the end of the bed. She climbed in and closed her eyes. 


End file.
